I, said the Sparrow, with my bow and arrow, I killed Cock Robin.
The Justice department actually states that one out of five child murders are committed by other children. Give yourself a minute to think about that one.
I am not a believer of Freuds phasetheory, well not in it’s purest form at least. I have problems with most of what modern day childpsychology thinks is the holy grail. Why? Because you take a theory like Daniel Sterns theory about the layered self. Has a very small test group and he based his entire thesis on the backs of middleclass American women, with nothing better to do than to look after their children. This does not apply to most mothers, most of us have to work, and it’s only a selected few who has the money and time to just stay home and chill with their kids. Never the less this theory on how the child developes is forced upon all children from all social layers. And in my oppinion that is setting it up for failure.
I don’t recall what childpsychologist who said ‘there is loving too little, there is loving too much, and then there is loving wrong.’ (or something like that, don’t recall the quote exactly) Basically it means that smothering your child is another form of neglect, but none the less neglect. You might not neglect the childs basic needs, like a couple of meth-heads in a trailer, but you are robbing the child of the most basic social skills if you fight all their battles, and keeps them locked up in a bubble where they are the king/queen of the world. That is just as wrong as letting the child fend for themselves. It sounds rough I know. But if you look at it from above, what having a child is all about is; having a baby, teaching it how to behave in the world, and hope they come out as fairly unscratched adults, who can manage a good job and have a good life.
But if you fail to teach the child how to behave for whatever reason, how is that child going to manuver in the world? A tyrant child is set up for failure. No one wants to play with that kid who throws tantrums when they don’t get it their way. And the parents would be in a constant state of denial, and defence because other adults would question their parenting.
Sadly I have seen more than one example of children where the parents took a backburner, and basically older siblings were the ones who took care of everything. Those children are a different form of tyrant child, because they might know boundraies, but it’s all the wrong boundraies, because those who tought them, also was never tought decent ones. An example is that a 6 year old child is still out playing at ten in the evening, their peers have been to bed for two hours. They are not more trusting than other children, but they would be easier targets for someone with sinister intentions. Why is that? If you ask me then besides the obvious of an unattended child late at night, then these type children are mature above their age, because they have to be, and they will rely on their own judgement of any given situation. But they are still just children, and children mostly see the world as black and white. Safe and dangerous.
So every child learned about stranger-danger, but what if that stranger is another child? Would you still feel threathned?
There are of course different types of reasons when children kill children, sometimes (luckily most of the time) it’s accidents, like a loaded gun they didn’t know were loaded, a dare that ends bad or something like that. But sometimes it’s something like Mary Bell, or those two kids who killed James Bulger. Those are the cases that we do not understand. Do they do it just to see what it’s like? Do they even grasp the concept of what they did? I’d say yes, cause they have to be aware that their victim is not exactly enjoying themselves, without going into detail cause that wigs even me out. I am sure these kids knew what they were doing. But why they did it is a whole other story.
Mirror, mirror on the wall.
So mirror images, they are creepy as fuck. I have always been uneasy with mirrors and that is no joke. I wish it was actually. I remember as a kid when the girls had this idea that if you stared into a mirror for a period of time, you’d be able to see the man you’d marry in the future. And of course I had to try this, like you have to try all the other stupid shit, like Bloody Mary and a ouija board and so forth. I didn’t see my future husband, but I did see my own face all distorted. Of course this was because you get tired in your eyes from staring and stuff goes out of focus. But for some reason it freaked me out, and made me weary about mirrors for the future. We actually only have one mirror in the house, and that is only there because the rest of my family demanded it.
Enough about myself my my irrational fears. So what is so scary about mirrors? There are several books and movies on this subject, but isn’t the most scary the thought of that it’s not you looking in as much as someone else looking out, someone stuck in a parallel mirror world, or something. What if your mirror image suddenly showed someone else than you? Or what if the world suddenly looked all different in the mirror?
And think about it, lots of stuff have a mirror surface, like monitors when they’re shut off, water, metal, windows..
Suppose this taps into the fear of not only being watched, but the whole not being the master of your own life, and the fear of mundane items suddenly becoming your worst nightmare. I don’t know if this fear of being watched was more prominent just some ten years ago, because nowadays you are used to survailance cameras, microphones outside pubs, and not to forget the internet that registers your every move. Of course then you can analyse this fear down into what you want to be and what you are. So how you want to be seen, and what you see. And in that aspect I suppose we are suddenly talking mental health, and your self perception.
So what is it with all these goddamn urban legends and mirrors? Is it because there is a difference in what you see in the mirror when it’s light and when it’s dark? Or maybe there’s something about it? Maybe mirrors really are portals to another dimention, or a meta physical plane. What I do know is that stories like Bloody Mary, the blue baby, and the Candyman have scared kids universally (in different versions though) througout generations.
And are you really telling me you don’t feel like you ever saw something move too fast in the mirror, out of the corner of the eye, and you closed the bathroom door, shaking your head at your own vivid imagination.
(Pucture taken from here)
BEK
I fucking love urban legends. =) The urban legend of BEK’s (Black eyed kids) are all sorts of cool, and I am looking forward to this flick, if you wanna learn more about that you can try the hp http://www.bekmovie.com/
It’s a little hard to find anything decent on the internet, unlike Slenderman who’s origin is pretty easy to track down, the BEK’s are harder, I found this http://mythbuster.hubpages.com/hub/The-Black-Eyed-Kids which is very well written and informative on the subject.
There are some books written on it, I downloaded this Black Eyed Kids’ By David Weatherly which is okay. =)
One thing i love more than urban legends, is watching urban legends in the making.
Squalor is the devils playground.
I don’t know if anyone reading this knows that I am doing a collaborate story with a friend of mine, using the sims2 as a story telling media. Why that? Because it’s fun 
Anyway I was reading up on something related to that story, and I stumbled across this.
I usually don’t really talk about myself in this blog, because it’s not relevant, or interesting. But something about that slideshow made me think of this place my mum and her boyfriend lived at one time. It was a horrible house, it was not their doing, it was horrid as they movied in. It should have been condemned, and it would have been had anyone known what it was like. It was huge though, but really cold and damp, they had this huge fernis out in the barn which ran on hay. This would warm up all the heaters in the house. But it so happened that they drank a lot in that time, so no one bought the hay needed for the fernis, and for a while the only heating was the gasoven in the kitchen. I swear there were frost ‘flowers’ on the inside of the windows.
Now my mum did a lot of things, she never did live in a garbage heap though. I knew this clairvoyant woman once, and she told me that the devil hides in squalor. And as an adult I think she might be right, but not in the literal sense of course.
I don’t know man, I have a limited insight into psychology, but I don’t think that heaps of trash, and hoarding is the same thing. As I said on LJ once, no one hoards dogshit. I wouldn’t just write the poor sods off as filthy swine either, I think it’s a question of caring. And that is the paradox innit? Way I see it, then real hoarders tend to hoard the back of their property first, and then keep a place of their house as an open space untill that too is swallowed up in boxes of crap they bought of the tv shopping network or at the thrift store. But they seems to me like they usually buy stuff they think is worth something, or can be given as gifts, or stuff that they might need – such as clothes, pots and pans.
Like if you bought 10 vacumcleaners on a sale, you’d stick them in the bedroom till you figured out what to do with them, and who to give them to. And what if before you made up your mind, you stumbled on this super sale on coffee machines? they would be piled on top of the vacumcleaners, and so forth untill you just have to close the door to your bedroom because it ended up as storage.
People who live in trash, they make a pile of trash around themselves where ever they sit the most, like in the living room, and then they move back in the house, as were they trying to find a clean spot to occupy till there are no more clean spots. Or maybe they build a wall of trash around them? I don’t know. But I’d see it much like your computer desk, it quickly fills up with trash if you don’t throw it out. Candy wrapping, cups, plates, ashtrays, and stuff you aren’t even sure why it’s there. Imagine if you just never cleaned that up, and instead of doing that, just migrated to your dining table when your desk got too gross. It’s not like you don’t know your gross desk is there, but you chose not to deal with it.
I believe in clutter blindness to some extend. If you ever met anyone who live in trash and crap you know that they hate guests, most will most likely have all social life elsewhere, and keep their house like their dirty secret. My point is that they ‘know’ that it’s not socially acceptable and still they don’t act upon the impulse to do anything about it. I admit that I think that most of these places where someone lives in kneedeep shit with children and pets, it’s most likely addicts or severely mentally ill people.
The same clairvoyant who told me about the devil in squalor, also told me that your mental state is mirrored in your enviroment. So what should we deduct from that? that there people feel like shit so they live in shit? Or that something robbed them of the ability to care for themselves, because way I see it, living in extreme squalor is self destructive like fuck. I refuse to believe that anyone likes living like that, in the back of everyones mind would be haunted by the knowledge that it’s not normal, and that it should stop, but they lack the energy or support to get cracking on it the right way. And nothing is easier than to ignore a problem, but as we all know it doesn’t go away because you want it to, it just festers.
So yes, the devil lives in squalor. And so does people who can’t deal with life, and therefor tries to distance themselves from it any way possible, be it they hide in a cave of junk, or be it a drug haze and stuff just never gets picked up. (substance abusers aren’t the most domestic people I ever met) – But as long as the trash stays so does the inability to suit up and get shit done.
It’s simple psycology that when we feel unsettled or unsafe, we seek back to where we feel the most safe. Wherever that be. But what is the place you felt most safe, was also the root of your pain? And you don’t even have someone to blame other than you. Well most trash collectors or hoarders or whatever, blames everyone else, but that is all a defence mechanism. It’s pretty easy to see that they don’t -really- think that, but they can’t deal with their own failure.
To most of us it sounds appaling to read that ‘the children played in heaps of trash’ and it is! But really then I don’t think that the most horrifying is the trash. It is that the parent(s) apparently have the empathic insight of a wooden log. They are robbing their children of a childhood, a normal one that is. No one wants to play with the kid that smells of piss, or who looks dirty. Odds are that the few that will, is told not to by their parents. Their clothes are filthy and old fashioned, they can’t have friends over. Outsiders are judgemental of the lifestyle that the parent(s) are pretending to be normal. And the last thing someone like that want is to feel judged or pursecuted.
When you live in a forest of crap, it’s not gonna be your only problem, that much is true. I am not sure if I believe that the ‘trash-hoarders’ in lack of other words, suffer the OCD traits that regular ‘collector-hoarders’ do. I think it’s mostly about giving up and letting go, which spreads like ripples in water. I would imagine that it has a lot to do with shame, and that is why they don’t ask for the helping hand that I am pretty sure that they know they need.
What I am not entirely sure of, is what type of shame it is. Are they ashamed because they know their living conditions are deplorable? Are they ashamed because of how it reflects on them as a person, and afraid of people reacting with ‘clean your house cause that’s just nasty’? Or are they more afraid of being found out and forced to deal with their demons?
(Picture ‘the nightmare’ by Henry Fuseli)
Just Melvin: Just Evil
I hate when people say ‘you write what you know’ that is just such utter rubbish! At least for me it is, I admit that my writing does spring from somewhere, but most often I tend to write about things that either frighten me, or that I don’t understand, and makes an effort to put myself in the different characters place.
And some information you could live your entire life, not knowing. But still you have to know it if you are going to write it, and that is where something like autobiographies and documentaries comes in handy.
Check out the IMDb page here.
This documentary is pretty hard to come by, and it’s pure “luck” that someone uploaded it to YT. It is about child abuse, and is a terrifying tale to say the least. I thought I would make you aware of it’s existence, there is 100 reasons to watch it, and just as many not to. I rather like this docu, it is not a subject where there are many factual movies made about it.
Anyway, if your muse works a little like mine, watch it.
100 entries on things that made me take notice and caught my attention – 1/100
Had to pick up on this meme.. just because it gives me a reason to write shit about uhm.. shit.
I love trashy tv on youtube. I fill my head with snippets of garbage because I can, the more stupid the better. And like this guy who put these videos up, I ADORE low budget Jesus shows.. It is just about the funniest shit ever. I wonder if these people realize how crazy they sound? Prolly not or we wouldn’t get them on tv, spreading the nutter gospel. – its DORK SIDED!!!! DORK SIDED!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! This is just too funny! We have everything, strange cults, Cobra hybrids, demonic smufs, soul eating online games, demon discos, and lets not forget – sacrificial baby breeders, and if you play with Pokemon – you’re going to hell.
I can’t stand it… It’s just too funny! – And no I am not ridiculing your religion, but these people are fucking NUTS!
So this post is in honor of lame ass telly on YouTube. =) Never stop!
