I was writing something, just a silly love story, really. But it still had me thinking, when is the line blurred between obsession, and fasination and/or love?
I think we all sat in a situation where we sat and wondered why a person that you thought you had something special with, suddenly turned their back on you. And you tell yourself that if you had just been more humble, or more fun or whatever, then this person would never have turned away. I think it’s a quite human phase to go through when you are confused as to why someone pisses on what you thought you had. As rational adults, we know that whatever you think you had, wasn’t there from the beginning, you were deluding yourself, or maybe the other person was untruthful, take your pick. The point is that changing who you are, would not have made it a different outcome.
Heartbroken obsession is just so sad, when someone simply remodel themselves in the image they think the other person would prefer. Thinking they were too little or too much something, and that it’s ultimately their fault that they were cast aside. I would imagine that if you change everthing from your speech pattern to your cupsize, then it must mess with your head. And odds are the person who’s attention you’re trying to get, is going to find you creepy and your goal will still not be met. And then what? If you mold yourself around someone else till you dissappear, then what? Would you be able to find yourself again?
How much can you take out of “you” till you aren’t you anymore? When does your own preseption end, and someone elses creation begin? And i suppose that sometimes then the other person does mold someone in their image on purpose. Take something like feeders (in case you don’t know what that is; it’s men who feed women to the point where they are so fat they can’t move, and is 100% depending on the man.) You can argue that an arrengement like between fat person and feeder is alright, since they are obviously both into it. I beg you differ, i don’t think that anyone wants to be so fat that they can’t move, and risk dying before they are 40. Again that is just my own theory, i think that the women who do this, and the men too for that matter, is so afraid of being alone, and just want to belong so badly, they will take it in any shape and form it comes. Not like i think you wake up one morning and think “Hey i wanna feed someone till they die” I think that co-dependant relations like this evolve over time. And of course the whole body image thing works the other way too, people who can’t be skinny enough, thinking that they have to look like that to look fit. Suppose it all boils down to groomed=success, and we all know it’s easier to get ahead in life if you’re hot. And of course you are loved if you’re hot, right?
Obsession cloud your judgement. And I find it strangely facinating that something can eat you up till you have no sense of reality left. Of course Religion does this too, it’s not secret that i find religion more facinating as in trying to understand what it is that makes anyone want to believe in a higher power, and a higher purpose. Do man need something to believe in? Maybe. But since I am talking about obsessions here, i am not talking about your average person, i am talking about religious nutters. I could say a whole lot on this subject, and yet i am only gonna mention how it frightens me that some religious communities use the Bible as their justification to do just about anything. And how a close knit community can end up outside the average community (us/the rest of the world) Take something like Jonestown for instance. Now that is obsession at it’s darkest, that people were not only ready to die, but to kill their own children for their cause. I can’t even comprehend that. And that is where there is a fine line between brainwashing and obsession.
Obsession without any limit is scary shit.