Abuse is the weapon of the vulgar.

Okay so i decided that there is no way in fucking HELL i am gonna meet the 50k mark for Nano on the limited time given to me, i am just such a slow writer when it all comes down to it. Because my research is NEVER done (also RL is a bitch). Anyway in regards to my Nano Novell, which i am still gonna write, it’s just gonna take me longer, and then it’s tecnically not a Nano novell anymore, but just a novell, then i was headhunting stuff that was relevant to me. And i am telling you it’s hard to come by stories of child neglect, which does not include abuse also. I would like to recommend David Pelzer’s ‘the boy called it’, it’s a brilliant book on that subject if you can stomach it.

As a child, Dave was brutally beaten and starved by his emotionally unstable, alcoholic mother: a mother who played tortuous games–games that left him Dave nearly dead. With only his willpower to survive, Dave learned how to play his Mother’s sinister games in order to survive because she no longer considered Dave a son but a slave, and no longer a boy but an “It.” -From Pelzer’s homepage.

There is also a book called ‘the kid’ by Kevin Lewis, and this was a book i picked up by pure chance at a bookshop sale for like 1 quid. But it really is a good book on said subject.

Kevin Lewis grew up on a council estate in South London. Beaten and starved by his parents, ignored by the social services and bullied at school, he was offered a chance to escape this nightmare world and was put into care. Despite his best efforts to make things work out, his life spiralled out of control. At the age of 17 he became caught up in the criminal underworld of London, where he was known as ‘The Kid’. -From Amazon.com

Unlike The boy called ‘it’, then The kid was actually made into a movie, i have never seen it, but i think it might be worth it to hunt it down. It might have something useful in it.

Which brings me to why i made this post in the first place. After long time searching on the matter of Steven Stayner, whos story was of interest to me, in the way that it’s different than the other ‘childhood neglect/abuse’ books out there, because it is not Steven’s parents who does this, Steven was abducted and raised by a stranger, molded into being this man’s son and victim in one. And what is interesting about the TV movie made from this story, is that it was actually Steven Stanyer himself who directed it. Anywho, i found it of all places, floating on Youtube.

Ripped straight from the headlines! On December 4, 1972, seven-year-old Steven Stayner got into a car with a stranger who convinced the boy that he was his new dad. Steven was mentally and physically abused in the most horrifying ways. Seven long years later, Steven miraculously finds his way home. But his nightmare isn’t over yet — not until his captor is brought to justice. -From Youtube.

Left for dead.

I know i’ve been talking an awful lot about urban legends lately, but apart from it being a pet hobby of mine to keep tabs on them, then i use them a lot for my writing. Not copying, but sometimes they are a very good pointer to stuff that is not really social acceptable or just an example of contemporary fear. Such as the buried alive legends, be it bells or phones, or the terrorist legends. Urban legends are a very good way of measuring what is a social ‘no no’ at the time, or what frightens us.

Plus i like them (urban legends) for the whole ‘what if’ factor, and that is why i like using them in my fiction, i just mask them up a little, normally that is.

Just like the story i was gonna talk about now, and the reason that i am posting this, is because i stumbled across a story from Asia that is very similar, and i find that very fascinating. I’m gonna tell the story first;

THE RETURNING SOLDIER; (probably of American origin)

The story has it that a soldier departed for the Iraqi war (could be any war of your liking) He left his wife and two small children behind on base. His platoon was never really close to anywhere where there was a phone link, so much to the soldiers dismay he couldn’t call his wife at home. But finally the day came and his turn was over, and he returned to home. As he arrived a nightmarish scenario greeted him, since his wife had placed their toddler and enfant in the playpen. The wife had died on her way to the kitchen from a heart attack, and so their children had starved to death in the playpen, locked in the house with their mothers corpse.

THE BLACK DOLL; (Asian origin)

This story has it that there lived a young single mother and her baby in a cheap apartment building, the mother has to work, but she has no friends and no family to take care of this baby of hers, so with a heavy heart she makes sure that the baby is as comfortable as possible, and then hurries to work. Now she is in such a hurry to get home to her baby after work, because she is worried, she crosses the road, but doesn’t pay attention and is run over by a car. And the mother is dead on the spot. The police can’t find any I.D on her, so they have no idea who she is or where she lived, or if she has any living relatives.

A month later the landlord goes into the missing mothers apartment, his intention is to ask for the rent she owes him, but when he gets there, it seems like the woman just picked up and left in a hurry. He notices something on the floor, and wonders why she would leave in such a hurry that she’d leave her black doll behind. A strange noise comes from the black doll, and the landlord bends over to touch it, only to find it’s a baby skeleton, filled with insects.

Now these two stories both play on every parents nightmare, that if something should happen to you, your kids would perish too, or for the soldiers story, not being there when your children needs you the most. Or you can translate it out into the same “parental no-no” as the babysitter legends, you know, the ones with the crazy axe murderer and clown figures. It’s all about not leaving your child unattended, and the horrors that can happen when you are not there.

Which brings us to ‘could it happen’ – Well of course it can’t, someone would notice a screaming baby in an apartment block, hells know i live in an apartment, and if a baby kept crying next door on/off  for some time, i would eventually bang the door, and if i couldn’t get someone to come to the door, i’d call the police.  And for the soldier story, well i know that army bases aren’t really super close knit, but i don’t think that anyone wouldn’t react if you hadn’t seen a specific person for a while, or her children.

I just think these stories both go to show how powerful something like an urban legend is.

Which then leads me to what i was really researching, the different variations of  ‘child abduction’ legends, mostly the ones where a child is just spirited away to a bathroom or a such, in some huge supermarket, a circus, a playground, a fun fair or a family restaurant, to then be drugged, have a change of clothes, a new haircut and/or color, and disappears for ever. And believe me there is like a million of those stories, and i am quite sure that none of them are true, but still.

Law & Order SVU had an episode about this urban legend actually, it’s season 3, episode 3, called “stolen” It’s a hard episode to dig up for some reason, and i know that Americans are afraid of streaming stuff, so i will just link to a site that tells something about that episode. (should you want to stream it, it’s here at Novamov)

I will however return and write some more on this subject once i feel i have more on it. But if you have anything to throw in, i’d love to hear it.

“So farewell Hope, and with Hope farewell Fear, Farewell Remorse: all Good to me is lost; Evil be thou my Good”

First thing is first, i know not a whole lot of people did read Harbingers, for several reasons, some didn’t read it because i made it, and some didn’t read it because it’s accompanied by images from the sims2, and then again some didn’t read it because it’s too disturbing. Personally i am very proud of that story, might seem silly, but i am. So all in all the story is about a man who returns to his hometown, and has to deal with childhood abuse. Something he tried to bury his entire adult life, only to come to the conclusion that he won’t ever be able to deal with it, and ends up shooting everyone, including himself.

I mention this story, because i was thinking about something that was along those lines once more.

So we have a kid who is brought up, tought to fear the world and everyone in it, and that its primary caretakers knows what is best. If you manage to keep a child like that from outside interference, what do you think you’d have? A product of its parents/caretakers twisted mind? I think you would. The severe child abuse newspaper stories I read, it has rarely been the kids who reacted, mostly it’s been someone from outside, like a neighbor or a taxi driver or the school. And in most of those stories i read, there the children tries to cover for their parents a very long way down the road. Untill someone gets through to them and tells them that it’s not normal what they experienced.

So what if it had its chance to run full circle? then what? Would it be like i claimed in Harbingers, that this child would never be able to exist as adult, forever locked in their childhood trauma, unable to move past it.

Now the story i was thinking of was not a story like Harbingers, it’s not even remotely about sexual abuse.  It is however about a child murderer and his apprentice.  What fasinates me is the fine line between abuser and victim. I mean when do you stop being a victim and start being an abuser? (If we say that they follow the footsteps of their “teacher”) Is it possible to be both? So are you a victim till you make a consious decision to harm? I mean that it’s a thought that comes from you, and not something you are promted to do. And does that thought really come from you then? Or does it come from years of coaching by some very twisted indivduals?

I have to give this some thought.