A professional writer is an amateur who didn’t quit

It’s been a while since I used this blog for it’s intended purpose, I should really get better at it. Not that I fool myself into believing that anyone is really interested in it.

Writing for me is a weird process, I find it easy to get inspired, I also find it easy to write when I finally sit down and do it – but I tear my own writing to shreds afterwards and I am trying real hard to get better at it. If nothing else I think it’s more than anything because I took the critique of Kryos to heart. And I might have been slightly arrogant still, coming from a platform where people will sort of give anything you write a go cause it’s free. Maybe that inflated my sense of talent, only to tear it down violently. And maybe that is why I am hard on authors where you can feel they didn’t even try.

But that was not really what I wanted to talk about, I wanted to talk about the fine line between too much and too little. One of the things with Kryos was that we did not describe the world enough, I am not even sure we described anything but the characters, it’s been a while since I read it (and I only care to re-read the final version we sent to the editor, cause i absolutely hate the version that was sold) and I don’t recall if we described buildings or anything, weather or colors – anything but the characters. And then I think about an author like Jean M. Auel (or Tolkien for that matter) who wrote entire goddamn chapters on flora and fauna – boring the reader to death – cause we were really only there to read about Jondalar – in an attempt to world build and be immersive.

It has always been a fear of mine to go off on a tangent like Jean M. Auel, and not only bore my readers with pointless describtions, but also stray wildly from the plot to explain a story about a flower or whatever. Some readers might enjoy that, but I think it’s absolutely the worst crime any author can commit besides copying someone else. I know I rag on Jean M. Auel, but I must confess that I only ever read Clan of the cave bears, and I fucking hated it, it was a very boring summer and I figured it was the only book on my mums bookshelf that looked remotely interesting – NOT! But the reason I use her as a example is because she is honestly the worst author I can think of in regards to this issue.

Now Anne Rice is boring, Stephen King is predictable, Tolkien is a mess – and so forth… Loved and known authors have their issues, of course they do. Koontz write the worst female lead characters ever – like WORST, I had to stop reading his books because his description of women pissed me off to the point where I couldn’t even finish the book, he is like a male Barbara Cartland with more dead people.

So yes I struggle with when is it too descriptive and when is too much left out. I try and find the middle ground – and I can’t wait to show you what I have been writing, hoping that I mastered it somewhat.

In regards to the photo that is me editing the latest thing I am working on, it’s halfway finished, but I wanted to go through it for consistency, and since I walked with dinosaurs I need a printed version and a pen. But somehow inconsistencies are easier for me to nail when it’s printed out, it’s like when I read non-fiction, I simply cannot read that on a screen either. Not sure if it’s going to keep this title, but I sorta like it – might be a little too pretentious. I will give away that it’s referring to Phaethon.

The walls have ears.

Alright so here is a long overdue update or something. So I have absolutely consumed more horror than I have produced for a loooooooooooong while. I have a couple of unfinished things that I hope to finish soon, but truth is that I have been so hung up in RL that it has simply not been realistic to find time to write or keep up with a blog. Dude I have barely been able to make dinner.

Things have changed, and I hope that I will be able to find the time, I really want to, but as you know I just haven’t done it.

I will not be making more youtube videos, it was fun and all, but I’m over it.

Also can I just mention how fucking sick I am of youtube and Codan’s twist, which leaves me with like a tenth of videos on youtube, almost everything is blocked in my country. Luckily not creepypasta narrations, and thank fuck for that.

Walls have ears.
Doors have eyes.
Trees have voices.
Beasts tell lies.
Beware the rain.
Beware the snow.
Beware the man
You think you know.
quote – Catherine Fisher

My name is Ozymandias, king of kings

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So I am sorry I haven’t exactly been blogging about writing, but RL hit me hard and all writing went out the window, it happens. But now I am back to a place where I can contemplate writing again.

So as I said in a vlog – ages ago! I have been struggling with this space horror story, and while I am dead sure of the setting, I am not quite sure what the major plot points should be, but one thing I know is that it has to be about mass disappearances and androids.

This leads me to androids, they have fascinated me and creeped me out since I first time as  kid watched Blade Runner. The idea that artificial intelligence, created by man, made of code and wires – can appear just as human as you and I… well is scary. Not rise of the machines scary, but something worth giving thought.

I wrote plenty fanfiction with androids, both some where they weren’t human and knew it and suffered as a result – much like Pinocchio who just wanted to be a real boy. And some where they weren’t aware until it’s revealed to them via science. So I spent plenty time digging into what makes us human, and is an android life? what if it has the ability to care, does caring make them human? is empathy solely reserved for mammals? If a machine looks at a painting, does it understand the emotion, or does it repeat what they are told about said painting?

In other words, does androids know how to feel, and if so would they know how to create and think outside the box? And if they know how to feel and create, how does their moral compass then fit into all this? Is it there because a human made the codes? so no matter if the android had emotions, it was because said emotions were coded – and nothing new could be taught which is outside the code.

And that takes us back to what does it mean to be human.

Humans can be devoid of emotions, humans can dissociate so much that what other people consider as norm, no longer applies to the individual. Take a psychopath for instance, they lack empathy and insight in other people. They use people for personal gain, though they can strike up friendships and partnerships, then it never goes deeper than the individuals personal needs. it’s what you represent or mean to them, or what you can do for them – not because they love you, they love the idea of you. Now sympathy is something completely different, a psychopath can have sympathy, they can feel bad for you if you break your leg, or lose your family fortune – but then again it comes from their ego, it springs from ‘if it was me, i would want X to do X’ – so not empathy or insight, but a personal need with the individual.

How is an android different, they would in theory be able to get you up if you fell down, and apply medical attention for example. they would recognize that you were in pain from a set of parameters, and seek to relieve that pain. So is it because they want to see you free of pain? Is it because it’s morally and ethically correct to aid someone in pain – perhaps.

There are many, many different takes on androids, and my favorite is like Rachel from Blade Runner, the android that doesn’t know what she is, and has been implanted with fake memories to make the illusion complete.

But the creepy, crazy android like David from Alien is absolutely amazing as well, the android that knows what he is, but has so much refined knowledge on the collective human pool of art and wisdom – but lacks the empathy to understand it, again a painting without emotion is just a painting, but with emotion it is an experience. I find it absolutely fascinating, the thought of an individual with that much intellect, but no emotion – which leads me back to the psychopath. Does it really differ that much?

And then there are androids like the Terminator, which just sets to the task it’s given and will never stop and never rest. These ones are creepy for other reasons, personally I never cared for the Terminator movies, but imagine for instance, that the world ended, and the androids kept going at making uhm.. cereal because that was the task given to them, they would continue their routine till they ran out – maybe even stopping to have human interaction because it was coded.

Artificial apocalypse.

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So my 12 year old daughter and I took a walk the other day, and she was telling me about this dream she had. In her defence she is watching the walking dead, and I do not believe in censorship of fictive shows or movies.

Well my daughter told me about this dream which went something like this; it was the zombie apocalypse and the main person was an android, but didn’t know it himself. He only found out because he was bit by a zombie.

I think this is a GREAT idea to work from! I asked her if I could borrow her idea to write it, and she was a little surprised that I thought her dream sounded like something that could be a story. They know I write, but never read anything I made. In the end she told me  that I could have her idea, but only one person could survive.

Have I told you that I love the way her mind works?

I know I had not planned on working on a zombie story, but I simply has to write this.

Logo and writing.

I hired Michael Cruz to design me a logo, and he took all the crazy shit I threw at him and created this beauty. I’m im love with my interdimensional death-deer.

I am working on two things right now, a short story about an abandoned prison in space, and a really short horror story about dads and mirrors.

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So…

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I am working on a video about animated horror, I hope to have that up this weekend. I am also working on writing a phone text horror story, it is seriously harder than you’d think.

I need to be better at posting reviews here, books, music and movies – I don’t think myself a critic, but I might inspire someone to watch or read something, and that would be awesome.

What happened in my hiatus, is that I decided to make this my main blog, and thus I will of course use it more often, but also not always write super long and thought through posts as I have in the past. I can however promise that it is all horror related, I will not start talking about my private life (that is what facebook is for).

Just posted the worst and the best book I read in recent time, I sadly don’t find a lot of time to read but I try to keep up with it, and you are always welcome to send me a friends request on goodreads.

So lastly I have been digging this record lately, thought I would pass that recommendation on. (you can also find it on YT)

Son of the Moon

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This is a free sample chapter of our upcoming book Phantasms. Contact info and disclaimer at the end of the post. Every chapter in the book concludes it self, so this is a complete short story.

The story is about some boys who plays a prank that goes horribly wrong. (okay I was always rubbish with blurbs)

It’s written for young adults, there is nothing too graphic in it.

You can also download it as a PDF, sorry – no clue how to create a mobi file.

READ THE STORY AT THE BLOG HERE.