My name is Ozymandias, king of kings

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So I am sorry I haven’t exactly been blogging about writing, but RL hit me hard and all writing went out the window, it happens. But now I am back to a place where I can contemplate writing again.

So as I said in a vlog – ages ago! I have been struggling with this space horror story, and while I am dead sure of the setting, I am not quite sure what the major plot points should be, but one thing I know is that it has to be about mass disappearances and androids.

This leads me to androids, they have fascinated me and creeped me out since I first time as  kid watched Blade Runner. The idea that artificial intelligence, created by man, made of code and wires – can appear just as human as you and I… well is scary. Not rise of the machines scary, but something worth giving thought.

I wrote plenty fanfiction with androids, both some where they weren’t human and knew it and suffered as a result – much like Pinocchio who just wanted to be a real boy. And some where they weren’t aware until it’s revealed to them via science. So I spent plenty time digging into what makes us human, and is an android life? what if it has the ability to care, does caring make them human? is empathy solely reserved for mammals? If a machine looks at a painting, does it understand the emotion, or does it repeat what they are told about said painting?

In other words, does androids know how to feel, and if so would they know how to create and think outside the box? And if they know how to feel and create, how does their moral compass then fit into all this? Is it there because a human made the codes? so no matter if the android had emotions, it was because said emotions were coded – and nothing new could be taught which is outside the code.

And that takes us back to what does it mean to be human.

Humans can be devoid of emotions, humans can dissociate so much that what other people consider as norm, no longer applies to the individual. Take a psychopath for instance, they lack empathy and insight in other people. They use people for personal gain, though they can strike up friendships and partnerships, then it never goes deeper than the individuals personal needs. it’s what you represent or mean to them, or what you can do for them – not because they love you, they love the idea of you. Now sympathy is something completely different, a psychopath can have sympathy, they can feel bad for you if you break your leg, or lose your family fortune – but then again it comes from their ego, it springs from ‘if it was me, i would want X to do X’ – so not empathy or insight, but a personal need with the individual.

How is an android different, they would in theory be able to get you up if you fell down, and apply medical attention for example. they would recognize that you were in pain from a set of parameters, and seek to relieve that pain. So is it because they want to see you free of pain? Is it because it’s morally and ethically correct to aid someone in pain – perhaps.

There are many, many different takes on androids, and my favorite is like Rachel from Blade Runner, the android that doesn’t know what she is, and has been implanted with fake memories to make the illusion complete.

But the creepy, crazy android like David from Alien is absolutely amazing as well, the android that knows what he is, but has so much refined knowledge on the collective human pool of art and wisdom – but lacks the empathy to understand it, again a painting without emotion is just a painting, but with emotion it is an experience. I find it absolutely fascinating, the thought of an individual with that much intellect, but no emotion – which leads me back to the psychopath. Does it really differ that much?

And then there are androids like the Terminator, which just sets to the task it’s given and will never stop and never rest. These ones are creepy for other reasons, personally I never cared for the Terminator movies, but imagine for instance, that the world ended, and the androids kept going at making uhm.. cereal because that was the task given to them, they would continue their routine till they ran out – maybe even stopping to have human interaction because it was coded.

Artificial apocalypse.

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So my 12 year old daughter and I took a walk the other day, and she was telling me about this dream she had. In her defence she is watching the walking dead, and I do not believe in censorship of fictive shows or movies.

Well my daughter told me about this dream which went something like this; it was the zombie apocalypse and the main person was an android, but didn’t know it himself. He only found out because he was bit by a zombie.

I think this is a GREAT idea to work from! I asked her if I could borrow her idea to write it, and she was a little surprised that I thought her dream sounded like something that could be a story. They know I write, but never read anything I made. In the end she told me  that I could have her idea, but only one person could survive.

Have I told you that I love the way her mind works?

I know I had not planned on working on a zombie story, but I simply has to write this.

Logo and writing.

I hired Michael Cruz to design me a logo, and he took all the crazy shit I threw at him and created this beauty. I’m im love with my interdimensional death-deer.

I am working on two things right now, a short story about an abandoned prison in space, and a really short horror story about dads and mirrors.

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There was a man, he went mad, he jumped into a paper bag.

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I often write about things that I do not understand, I take great pride in investigating places in the human psyche that I simply cannot relate to. The trick which I personally finde is a drive for my inspiration is to both make my story believable and also to portray the subject matter neutrally.

Reading a story like this one tho makes me take three steps back in amazement, it blows my mind that people can live with a dead baby in a swing, and this baby has apparently been dead for over a week when the police was called. And also these people had other children in this apartment.

One wonders – so would they pretend the baby was alive? would they forget it was there? I mean one thing is that they ignore this child long enough for it to die in a swing, but to just leave it in the swing is even more crazy somehow. I don’t for a second think you can forget that you got a dead baby in your apartment, I mean it must have taken time for it to die, and also it gotta smell eventually. And what about the other kids, wouldn’t they have said something? pointed something out?

Sadly the article and the news article linked to from there, is scarce with information – so it just leaves us to speculate.

It’s not that I personally understand how you can do something like this to your child, but stories pop up like this all the time, so some people is clearly able to not only have a nurturing, empathic bone in their body. I would say that it must be drug related, since they can forget their baby for over a week, but what about the other kids? – Some articles say ‘kids’ and some say they had a 4 year old girl. As I said, the actual information is not very valid.

It does fascinate me that a person, a mother none the less, can have this amount of disregard for a human life, and her own child.

Hunted a beast, found a man.

I read this article by some police officer who had investigated these child murders, and it got me thinking. Some crimes are just so brutal that you imagine the violator as some derraged beast, cause no rational person could ever do something like “that”, but if you look at something like CrimeLibrary.com, then what strikes me (and probably you as well) will be how highly functioning a lot of these monsters are.

And really if you think about it, if you stick out in a crowd it will be harder to remain obscure. That is why we tell our children about the whole “stranger danger”, cause if “normal” people weren’t crazy then we could just tell our kids to look out for bizarre looking/acting people.

So…

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I am working on a video about animated horror, I hope to have that up this weekend. I am also working on writing a phone text horror story, it is seriously harder than you’d think.

I need to be better at posting reviews here, books, music and movies – I don’t think myself a critic, but I might inspire someone to watch or read something, and that would be awesome.

What happened in my hiatus, is that I decided to make this my main blog, and thus I will of course use it more often, but also not always write super long and thought through posts as I have in the past. I can however promise that it is all horror related, I will not start talking about my private life (that is what facebook is for).

Just posted the worst and the best book I read in recent time, I sadly don’t find a lot of time to read but I try to keep up with it, and you are always welcome to send me a friends request on goodreads.

So lastly I have been digging this record lately, thought I would pass that recommendation on. (you can also find it on YT)

A tiny update of a sorts.

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So as I said in the video I did go to the local thrift store but found nothing. I am also still waiting for the microphone and wanted to wait for it to arrive before I made a new video, it should arrive this week.

It also turned out to be a huge process to move all my oldest daughters shit out of the bedroom, and I have to wait for my husband to bring home a stick for the paint roller, cause I can’t reach the ceiling otherwise, and it makes no sense what so ever to paint the walls but not the ceiling (pretty overdo too, I haven’t painted the ceiling for the 11 years we lived here).

I have a couple of minor projects that I wanted to talk about in regards to the room makeover, but mostly that i have a kid free “date” Friday, with some old friends at this huge ass market with both new stuff and old stuff, and most importantly – beer. I do hope i can find something cool for the bedroom there though.

I have some books I read and stuff but I decided that it was not worth to make a video with, so I reckon the next video will be up sometime next week. =)